The fat lady’s rantings

April 16, 2009

Do we really care? …Or should we?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 12:52 pm

All of us like to be happy always – to live in a world where the newspaper comes with only ‘good’ news and nothing bad happens to us or our loved ones. And even if something goes wrong, we all crave to be deaf and blind to it.


What the heck would you tell someone who has the guts to ignore an accident with the excuse that a helping hand can only invite trouble and still brag about the evils of religious terrorism? What else can you call the ‘jerk’ who says he can manage to drive himself back home safe even when he’s done with 6 to 7 pegs? And to you so-called-parents, would you still approve of  late night partying and drunken driving  when your kids grow up and reach their teens, or is it that you really don’t care even if they are killed on the streets like stray dogs?


A normal person would‘ve quit reading this by now and others, who can complete this piece, might think about it for a while, before going  back to minding their own business. After all, that is where all our problems start from. You can call it ‘optimism’ but this is the part where I love to use the word ‘denial’. We call ourselves ‘brave’, but deep down ain’t we just ‘cowardly’ to say that we won’t be able to handle it?


Two years back, four kids (all under 18) went out for a drive without any adult supervision. They had no classes that day ‘cos of some cultural programs happening in their school and their parents were unaware of this adventure. Young kids, full of spirits, drove fast and minutes later they had to be rescued from their wrecked vehicle. They had to use the hand brake to avoid a collision with a rick, which led the vehicle to skid and a bus coming from the opposite direction crashed into it.

Two out of the four passengers suffered serious injuries. But fortunately, all survived.


April 12 2009, at around 10- 10.30pm, we’d just had our Easter dinner, when we got the shocking news that two of my junior kids from school had passed away in an accident that evening. Two, of the four passengers, both siblings of the kids who died, survived with injuries.

Now, for the past few days, all I’m able to see in my orkut and facebook is the grief of those who miss them terribly. It’s really heartbreaking to see that.


The truth is that we won’t really think about this unless and until this kind of a thing hits close to home. And when it does, we can do nothing but wish for strength to endure it.

The truth is that we really don’t care!!

Why should we bother when we are all safe… right???


For all those who don’t give a damn, please F*** off. Nobody will care. Because there are many out there who want to get back home alive and many families waiting for their loved ones. And nobody would want you to exist to destroy their happiness, for the sake of a little fun.

And if, even after twenty or so years on this planet, you still don’t know that such little values matter a lot, you are just wasting your time living.


So, my dear friends, what I intend to convey is that I’m sick and tired of all this nonsense. We don’t have to do great deeds to make a difference.  Just keep a check on what we are doing and think about whether it’s right or wrong.

And I really hope that someone will kick your a$$ next time you plan to drive after consuming alcohol!!

April 2, 2009

The Happily Ever After Story

Filed under: Tessie's Diary..... — Tessie @ 10:12 am

“So… how is married life treating you?” people often ask me when I’m online.

“Great! I’m having lottsa fun” I’ll reply…

…when in my mind, I’m actually saying “yeah right! Somebody help me find a lawyer!!”.

Now, just for an FYI, both of us ain’t really a mean couple unless we are bickering and regretting about the decision to lose the ‘SINGLE’ title. We also do have those lovely moments when we sit down with a cup of tea and remind each other how many bills are yet to be paid and how much less money we have in accounts. Blah blah blah and all that has now made me decide not to let my children near the ‘prince-princess-happily-ever-afters’ until they are old enough to ‘digest the real message’ :D.

Long back, I’d admired my fairy tale book’s pictures and fantasized about having a fairy tale wedding to live happliy ever after. When I say “happy”, I don’t really mean unemployment, struggle to find  a new job and never ending series of household chores.

Cinderella had a pumpkin coach and glass slippers, Beauty got her Beast transformed, Princess Fiona got her true love kiss and I got to learn that “the more you worry about life, the messier it gets but you still can’t stop worrying ” which implies that “life gets complicated day by day and there’s no stopping it”. Maybe that’s why the story tellers deliberately forget the part in between the “married” and “the end” with a “happily ever after”.

My fairy tale would be like this.

The prince and the princess had a grand wedding and a luxurious honeymoon before they went back to their work and normal life. The princess was not an expert in house keeping and cooking.  She tried and messed up. The prince could not work on his careless nature. He messed up without trying. So, both of them had a tough time adjusting. They both had their bad days when they would fight with each other about silly things. They had their good days when they spent up to a whole day just being with each other.

 The princess lost her job and had to depend on the price for her monetary  needs. She had more bad days. Living became costlier and the prince had his extra bad days too.

Time flew and soon they had kids who ate, pooped, cried, ate more, pooped more and cried more. More bad days!! The kids  grew up, attended colleges and left for new nests. The prince and the princess grew old. And one day they looked back at their lives and told each other “Oh! But I wouldn’t have done all that if you weren’t by my side.” :)

March 21, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 9:18 am

lost_love1(something I’d written for my college magazine during my first year in college)

Like the softest breeze, his fingers slid through my hair, gently parting the strands. His eyes glowed with a strange passion as the deep browns explored mine. They could hypnotise me with a mere glance. My dimples burned when he caressed it. And I felt so strong as he held me in his arms. Everything about him made a mark in my soul and  made me feel his presence around me always – even now when he is miles away.

That fateful day will never fade off from my memories. The day he told me he would no longer give me a life like he had promised. The day he told me that there was someone else in his life. A lover had conquered his soul and all he could do then was leave me. A relationship, which I believed, was strong enough that even death wouldn’t be able to separate us was being torn apart by an evil witch.

No! It wouldn’t be fair from my part to grieve about it now. True love is not supposed to have any guidlines or conditions and every lover will need a space of his/ her own.

So I can never complain about him leaving me  or about him finding a new lover. But I can still vent out my anger about the whole thing by picturing her as an evil witch who spends her life breaking many hearts like she did to me.

Alas! She won. Unlike all stories we read, mine does not have a happy ending with me finally realising that all that had happened was for my good. I do not live happily ever with my lost love coming back to me.

But the inevitable did happen and nothing could stop him from eloping with his lover – as we all know her – cancer…

March 18, 2009

Angels in my life

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 3:37 pm

They were in my life for a reason. They were my angels who walked into my life like it was a coincidence. But they made me think and helped me find that life is never coincidence.



My Little Cherub…



All angels do not have halos and wings. Some of them just have a sparkle in their eyes that tells you that they are special.


Little Tammy was her parents’ first born. But she was never a spoilt kid. Smart and mature, she took of her own life and was always a responsible elder sister at an age when I used to quarrel, quarrel and quarrel a lot with  my younger sibling. People always had good words about her and she had that  sparkle in her eyes that told us that she was special.

The picture I have of her in my mind is of a little baby with soft curly hair in her white baptism gown and a cute white hairband. The innocence never faded off that face even when she grow older into her teenage.

She was my father’s brother’s daughter- my younger sister. But then, I grew up in Kerala, she in Bangalore and we didn’t meet each other that often. I met her last when she was around 10 years old. I remember her painting my fingers for me that day. A few days later, even after all the nail polish had come off, a tiny silver heart struck on to my thumb nail and I remembering treasuring it like a gift.

Two years later, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She was very bravefor a twelve year old. She lived throughout the treatment for a whole year, almost reached the stage of recovery and then her health relapsed. She ended her struggle with the illness and went away to be with other angels five years back.


The little angels who spread smiles flew away to heaven leaving her loved ones in tears and sadness. Today, I see a father, a mother and a younger brother trying hard to recover from the lose of a loved one. Things cannot be undone. But … ( I seriously do not know how to end this post)…

February 25, 2009

.. And Am Back!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 12:52 pm


Hey Folks!! And… I am finally back with that post of mine which was written over a thousand times in my mind in the past two months but was never posted. Even though this is not exactly how I planned the ‘coming back’ post, I am glad that I ‘can write again’.

Yipeee… I am writing again. And this time I don’t think I’ll quit half way and postpone this post J.


Here’s what was happening the past two months :-


It was not a writer’s block that kept me away from my favorite hobby. The culprits are two messed up vacations which ultimately led to me staying first for about a 3 weeks and again for a whole month at Kerala ( not getting into the details now… But am glad it’s over).


And while I was away, some people did remember me and very delighted about these two awards that Swarna and Kochunni’s Mom gave me.


Thank you guys!!

More coming up soon… :)

February 1, 2009

(A quick note for ma readers)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 10:18 am

Life’s been very hectic for a last few weeks… I’ve got lots to write when I come back, which is very soon…

Thank you K3 and Swarna for those awards… will pick ’em up soon…

Bye for now… :)

December 10, 2008

The last lecture

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tessie @ 3:12 am

The 47 year old professor delivered his last lecture on the 18th of september 2007, a year after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This is the last lecture of that brave man, who inspite of his ill health went ahead to fulfil all his dreams and help others achieve their dreams before he said his last goodbye. In his last lecture he talks about ‘really achieving one’s childhood dreams’. He is survived by his wife Jai, and their three children, Dylan, Logan and Chloe.
From the wiki:

November 12, 2008

For ma Dad!!

Filed under: Tessie's Diary..... — Tessie @ 10:10 am

Dear Achachan,

How are you? Well!! We are good.

My last letter to you was a long time back and it was too sad and emotional. This one should be different.

Four years back, when I was writing that letter for you, my mind was full of questions about how a person can disappear from my life just like that. I was crying because I thought it was not at all fair from your part to leave me to live the rest of my life alone. But now that time has given me the answers already, I guess we are still cool and friends like always.

The virtue, that I believe, I gained as your daughter is my strength. Every time I just want to break down and cry, I find life pulling me to tougher situations just to show me that I am not made up of ‘easily-destructable’ material.

Nineteen years of life with you gave me enough fuel to keep that strength aflame a whole lifetime. I am going to be 24 next April but the four year old who used to scamper around your house, always on the look out for a new mischief, lives in my heart. You should remember discovering your tool box, which you’d put away safely on the top on almirah, broken one day. But did you see that someone in the house waiting for you to scold her? She waited for a long time wondering why you never found out.

I still go boasting around that I am my father’s girl. I’ll like anybody who tells me that I’ve got your looks. Because nobody else could’ve ever helped me become the person I am today.I remember how every time I came home with bad grades, knowing that it was my own fault and expecting you to scold me. I was never scolded and was left to think for myself. That was your way of handling things and it did work out perfect.

I seriously hate this growing part. I am sure that it is not a big deal for you. I can be 24 or even 44. I am always your little girl.

If I was not born your daughter, I would have never had the luck of having the kind of life that I had. I would have never boasted of having spent late nights watching movies with my father, when I was just four years old. I would have never had the memories of waiting till late to open the gate for you, when you came home after work. And I would have missed a long list of other things too.

Nowadays, whenever I am observing B, I find myself comparing him with you and looking out for similarities. Surprisingly, there are. So, now I know that there’s only one kind of man whom I can actually like and the standards were set by you.

I am winding up this letter without a formal goodbye because,like both of us already know, this conversation between us will never end… ever…

“…because I can never ask another sun to rise for me… not even when you stop shining…”

October 29, 2008

Drunk, Drunkard and Drunkest *

Filed under: Tessie's Diary..... — Tessie @ 5:35 pm
This is not the tale of three men named Drunk, Drunkard and Drunkest who lived in a far away village long time back or even a puzzle about the three. This is the tale of that young dame’s transformation from someone who believed that alcohol and nicotine were big dangers (in caps and bold) to a few hours of wobbly-wobbliness after 2 breezers and a Smirnoff.
It was almost a year back when her mother decide that the time had come for her to find the noble one for her daughter. The daughter then put forward 2 conditions for her man… well apart from the regular tall, dark, handsome etc etc.
The news spread far and wide. And one day he came along. He asked for her hand in marriage and she consented. A few days passed by as the soon-would-be-couple weaved dreams about the how the life with each other would be like. 

It was one of those days that the dear dame visited he future groom’s orkut profile and saw it, to her utmost horror

“Drinking : Occasionally

Smoking : Occasionally”


Hours of restlessness followed and the very same thought kept her awake till midnight when she finally decided to call up her mother.

Amma” My o my, didn’t she sound worried!! “I am worried about this alliance

what???” that kind of a news at that kind of time would definitely worry anybody “what is wrong with it?” Her mother asked.

It is the guy” she said “He drinks and smokes OCCASIONALLY”.

Is that all?” As if what was expected to hear was “Amma, he’s slept with every girl in town”.

The conversation continued and ended quite well. Then the dame slept peacefully. So did her mother, the groom to be and the whole world. Days passed by the dame fell in love with her man, a grand wedding took place and they lived happily ever after


(after a short break… let‘s say about 3 and a half months…)

On an Friday eve unlike any other, the hubby and wife decided to stay home and cook together. Now, since there were 2 people in the kitchen the menu was elaborate and the process was indeed very tiring.

After a few hours, the hubby declared that he needed some refreshment and that he was going to have some beer.

A mischief dawned to our dame and she told her better half that she could do with a breezer. The darling better half granted her wish and they chatted away for sometime.

They had their second drink and now the hubby wore a frown. And ignoring that little frown, in that moment of drunkenness, the dame suggested that they have a shot of vodka too….

(A little info here)

The young dame tried her first few sips of vodka a month earlier and it was “knee-weakening” experience for her. She blamed it all on a sudden fury of gravity towards her body, but that didn’t keep the hubby from being worried about getting his wife drunk.

The persisting however did work and the hubby ended up pouring out two small shots of vodka for himself and his lady.

The vodka did the final touch.

The young lady forgot her gentleness and declared that she was hungry. The food in the house, according to her, was not what she wanted to eat at the moment. She wanted to eat the very famous Maggie noodles at that very moment and asked her husband to get it for her then… I.e. at 10 in the night.

Again, the gentleman could do nothing but give in. He bought it from a nearby shop and cooked it for his dear wife while she waited balancing herself on a dining chair, trying hard to keep herself from bursting out into laughter (for no other reason other than drunkenness).


He fed his worst half ( ;) ) and helped (or put or carried) her to bed and the night was peaceful again as the dame pulled the blankets over her head and snored away peacefully :) .



*about the title -> it rhymes!! :)

Warning : Boozing is dangerous to your body as well as your sanity. It made me feel like an idiot for a few hours :) .

October 22, 2008


Filed under: Tessie's Diary....., Uncategorized — Tessie @ 11:26 am
Was that really a night at a call centre????

Yes. I am talking about ‘the book made into a disaster’ movie Hello.

Well!! It is not that big a disaster. But the book was way better. So, let me tell you why it could have been better. Better if it didn’t’ look like that same old bollywood masala.

Firstly, it is watch-able. And no harms in spending a few bucks in a cinema. And it was a big relief for me after a Malayalam movie, that is a huge suffering even if you are drunk senseless.

Secondly, Bollywood is done greater disasters. So, this one does not deserve that much blaming.

Thirdly, this so called review is just my silly point of view. You might like it( Don‘t say I never warned you).

“Hello” brings to you the story of 5 young people and one old man, all of them working in a crumbling call center. Apart from the regular trouble makers in filmy life, like nagging mom-in-laws, screwed up love life etc, they also face a major threat of a possible lay off.  

The casting was – ‘no comments’.

We have 3 pretty ladies dressed up like they are going for some grand reception. well!! Gul Panag looks like a bar dancer (my view) with her too low neck and is old enough to be Sharman‘s mom. We have Sohail Khan playing Vroom, a 24 year character in the book. (Did they put a +16 for that character in the movie???).

Sharman does a good job and he was the only one in the movie I actually liked.

Then we have Katrina’s cameo as a (sexy) GOD(dess) and Salman’s filmaker too, who while waiting for his pick up ( a copter) gets to listen to this masala.

The story begins on a rainy night when these 6 characters start from their cozy homes to their miserable work place. The story continues as they attend a few calls and then proceed to take breaks every 15 minutes. I forgot to count how many times they said “Hey! Let’s take a break yaar”.

Like in all movies and like in the book, they solve their personal problems while in office. And then, it happens.

They almost have a rendezvous with death while on one of their breaks and they get a wake up call from none other than GOD. They get back to work after that with so much of determination that – “BANG” – everything is all right in a few hours.

The wicked boss gets kicked out, the sinking call centre is saved with no lay offs, nobody gets arrested or even warned for raising a false alarm in a foreign country, Americans are proved to be idiots (let them make a movie on the same lines!!) and the poor American boss from Boston even gets a short lecture from a proud Indian youth.

The story ends as everyone’s dreams come true, like in every bollywood flick where every handsome pauper become rich and every slim beauty gets her love life back in shape by climax

Thus, the Indian call center and the 6 great people { :P } lived happily ever after.


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